Damn you train lady - 7th August

I'm lying in bed in Ulan Baatar feeling very sorry for myself. The train journey from Russia to Mongolia was hellish... I mean really the worst journey I have had since leaving the UK for a number of reasons. The total time was approximately 23 hours but we spent 11 of those at the border crossing on a train, which we were not allowed to leave (only briefly for a time - check out the proud driver), with no air conditioning in a  temperature of about 35 degrees. The border crossing itself was actually quite smooth and the Russian side didn't even check all the documents I spent so long (and so much money) procuring, damn them. In addition and probably the real cause of my sorrowful mood is that I have acquired a serious case of the squity bum. Being on a train did not help matters as when at a standstill the train lady locks the toilets - can you see where I'm going? no toilets, no getting off the train, 11 hours..... It was wretched.

So we finally arrived at 6am and I got a lift to the hostel, unfortunately it was with ten 20-year old French people. They were so incredibly annoying it was unreal. I think they must have thought me such a grumpy old bitch but seriously we arrived at the hostel at 6:15am they thought it appropriate to play the guitar and have a little Jack Johnson sing-a-long, for fecks sake! I hate that shit so much, it makes me into a raging facist. I just stared at them with my mouth hanging open...... how on earth a group of people can be quite so disgracefully arrogant is beyond me.

All I wanted to do was sleep and rest my weary bum, but in desperation to sack off the french fries (who contined to sing and hence wake the entire hostel), I had a shower and ventured into the city. I made a list of tasks for the day, and began by getting some cash (it's so cheap here, it's brilliant), a sleeping bag (for the camping), a sim card (tooks me hours of wandering around a "mobile phone" store but I did it), some toilet paper (for emergencies - UB has some pretty nice toilets it turns out) and some snickers'. I achieved all of this early on and left me with time to spare so feeling very ropey I headed to the Natural History Museum. It was actually not bad, had some good meteorites and dinosaur bones but wasn't particularly impressed with the stuffed animals including - 5 snow leopards, 4 golden eagles, 4 brown bears and 2 rare elk, and a display of about 50 puffer fish (what they have got to do with Mongolia I have no idea). It also saved me getting drenched in the afternoon thunderstorm - a thunderstorm like no other I have experienced, and meant I was very close to a toilet for about 3 hours. The city is unusual - it ranges from sky scrapers (all quite new and some still being built), to old concrete buildings and even yurts. But it is friendly, and welcoming. I plan to do a bit more sightseeing when I am back after my tour and my bottom is repaired but I took some snaps of the centre square......

So I'm now back in bed, in my new sleeping bag, feeling ill, and trying not to worry that I am leaving in 1 day on a 20 day camping tour around Mongolia. I've prayed to the God of All That is Good and Kind to restore my bottom to a robust state in the next 24 hours but I think shes not listening, which is not a surprise because I never liked her anyway. So I think I'm in trouble. I hate this sort of thing because all you can think about is food.... I'm dreaming about dahl, and I know there is an Indian restaurant around the corner. The question is: is now the right time for a curry? Isn't it always the right time for a curry? yes, yes it is, you're right, you are right! No you're not right, green tea for me only.

Ulan Ude and Ust Barguzin... the end of Russia

I am in Ulan Ude exhausted and getting more and more cross listening to Whitney Houston in a cafe. I love Whitney, just not the same song over and over and over and over, you get the idea. I arrived in Ulan Ude on 1st August, and set off pretty much straight away to Ust Barguzin. It is a small village on the east side of Lake Baikal, very close to Zabaikalsky National Park and the Svyatoy Nos (Holy Nose) peninsula. Look them up, they are worth it. It really was my first real adventure because I had no idea where I was going, whether I would get there or what I would find when I got there. I was only going because an American/Russian I met on Olkhon who worked on the Great Baikal Trail recommended it to me and apart from the big, squinty head (I'm impressed Pete) Ulan Ude was pretty quiet and I was a bit of tired of museums so thought I'd give it a go.


So I've worked out that the blog is only good when I am having "issues" because they make interesting stories, so apologies for the next bit because I had a wicked time! I took the bus at 7am and met some lovely people who shared their lunch with me including their vodka - my first in Russia. The guy was in a US Air Force outift, had a knife the size my leg and... well make your own mind up.

What does that mean Sacha (Alexander)?

Anyway, they were nice. So arrived in Ust Barguzin after 7 hours on the bus drunk (ha!) but sobered up pretty quickly when I realised I had no idea where I was, or where I was staying. Anyway, turns out, thanks to the American/Russian, I was staying with a couple who worked in the National Park in their homestay. So wandered aimlessly for a while and luckily came across the National Park Office - for a village the place is quite big. It was great. The couple were Eva (German) and Andrei (Russian), and a girl was staying with them called Ailene from the States but was very kind and we pretty much went everywhere together for the time I was there. She spoke about a thousand languages, and worked for a eco-NGO trying to get money for Baikal. This was a trip of firsts, as I also had my first Banya (Russian version of sauna, with birch branches for slapping etc). One has to be naked when entering the Banya, and much to my displeasure I had to get naked with a 19 year old Russin goddess - oh life is unfair, I'm so glad Simon wasn't there. Now, before I left Simon said that if I met a guy called Vladimir I would run away with him. Well, Simon, I have something to tell you, I met him and I wish to devote myself to him forever....

The cutest thing I have ever seen.... I even got the photo with a cat bum in for Katie! I'm such a good friend.
But seriously, I spent the rest of my time there walking around the lake, the park, the mountain, getting eaten by mosquitos, smelling the delicious pine, seeing chipmunks, mushrooms, berries, stoats, ant hills and eagles. I actually think this is the most beautiful place I have ever been in my life. It's incredible. Svyatoy Nos is the mountain (1800m) and on a clear day from the top you can see for miles and miles and miles and miles. The surrounding mountains form the Barguzin range which are pretty much undiscovered in that no one goes there. I will almost certainly go back and I urge anyone who goes to Russia to go here. The sky is so big, I just couldn't capture it.

So today I made it back to Ulan Ude after 3 days in Ust Barguzin, and actually this is my last day in Russia. I have to say, as you all will know, it's been a trip of ups and downs in Russia but I'm ending on a high and want to come back already (so I think I have won). So I'm off to Mongolia tomorrow, hopefully, dependent on whether my registrations are in order. Keep your fingers crossed. It's unlikely I am going to be able to update my blog at all in Mongolia, so I will say goodbye for now, but I'll update when I get back to the city and when I am on my way to China - in about a month.... до свидания!

Diving in Listvyanka - 30th-31st July

Having spent some time at Olkhon Island, I had great expectations of Listvyanka - also on Lake Baikal. I took a marshrutky (local mini bus) all the way in to the centre of the place and was disappointed when I arrived as it turns out Listvyanka is like a very small Blackpool. I then found out I was actually staying 2km out of town, which part of me was thankful for but the bag carrying part of me was not. I found the location of the homestay I was staying at through the local tourist information (basically a disguised tour operator who tried to charge me 200 rubules - 4 quid - for a map, I told him where to go, sharpish).

Turns out I had booked a winner and stayed in an amazing place, with my own little stove. It's a shame it wasn't cold for me to put it on. I walked back to town and picked up some smoked omul (the local fish), bread, one tomato (the woman despised me for only buying one), a doughnut and went to look at the souvenirs. I would have bought some, especially one which was a magnet with a hologram changing between the face of Vladimr Putin and Dimitry Medvedev. Awesome but she wanted £5 for it, so I walked on. So I have bought no one souvenirs, not because I didn't think of you but because they were a rip off.

Walked back to my homestay and watched the sun set. There really is little to do in Listvyanka but sit around and do nothing. FInally finished The Count of Monte Cristo - enjoyed it but it bloody dragged on. Had the best night sleep since I left home.

Next day I went diving with Andrei. Very nice chap but I had forgotten from previous diving trips how relaxed Russians are about diving (smoking around the tanks, drinking vodka before a dive etc). Obviously I had no gear with me, and to cut a long story short when he tried to get me into the rib without a depth gauge I had to stop him. A week previous the visibility had been great (30metres) but when I was there it was pants. It was cold, I was over weighted and the only life exisiting in Lake Baikal is crabs. Small orange crabs. They didn't even wave at me. However, the people were lovely, and I would definitely go back (with my own gear) and do some ice diving.

Spent the rest of the day recovering on the beach, where would you believe it I got stung by another bumble bee about 2 inches away from the previous one! Little feckers! Must be something about my delicious body perfume that sends them crazy. Took the bus back to Irkutsk but not before watching a group of Russian police men wrestle someone who was not "caucasian" to the ground as he refused to stop. Turns out he was a tourist and it was all fine but reminded me where I was and that stop means stop.

Off to Ulan Ude very early tomorrow (1st August).

p.s. can whoever is sending me piss taking text messages please leave your name because I'd really like to know who you are. Cheers.